In the forthcoming book, The Healing Way, I channel Austin's higher self to open and close each chapter, or lesson, in the book. Working with Austin's higher self in this way has been a highlight in my life. We are truly partners on this book journey. This channeling comes from the chapter entitled, "Getting to Know Our Expectations."
While in trance, I asked Austin’s higher self to share what expectations are and how they affect us. This is what I received:
Expectations are based in fear. Simply put, expectations are filled with images, memories, teachings, hopes, dreams, and wishes that are placed on others, and situations, as a form of control, and as a form of desire and attachment to results that are not coming from the truth or the Light within you. The way to rid yourself of expectations is to let go of any desire to control who or what you think someone or something should be in a desire to own that part of the person or experience as “your own.” This higher state of being in the world is critical for you to attain if you are interested in ridding yourself of the attachments and falsities that encourage your truth to be dimmed and kept in the dark. Reaching this state of awareness, which is mostly an experience, is to know your truth as being a part of You, and thus becoming attached to it. This will set you free. Freedom is a desire that you all share, however it is won through experience—an experience from knowing yourself in truth, and an experience from going within often, as Kristen says, “in the stillness and silence.”
We would go so far as to say that expectations are one of your main causes of suffering. It keeps you from recognizing what and how things could become if you only allow them to be. Do you put expectations on a forest? On a tree? On a rock? On an ocean? On a sunset? On a butterfly? On a bird? The moon? The sky and the stars? Some of you may. However, these things you call nature are a part of the collective, “The All,” thus, systemically a part of your existence in the world. Nature, as you refer to it, is your most accessible teacher, giving you invaluable lessons to learn the truth outside of you to know the truth inside of you. Why? Because it is a reflection of the truth within you, and it will always speak the truth to your heart. You must allow the experience of nature to teach you about the nature of reality so you develop the power of discernment to know the truth in all things. This is the “old” way, as many of you refer to it. But it is not. Why do you think your planet of paradise and you on it exist? To be one of the greatest teachers of humankind. Yes, it is the way. The way to you and to your heart. Take it to set yourself free.
“We” have so much to learn from nature, from the enfoldment of a sapling growing in the forest. Watching it, being with it, noticing, smelling, touching. Why can’t we have those same experiences with our child? With our loved ones? With our professions? With our co-workers? With our friends? With our neighbors? Why must we place so much expectation and pressure and burden on others to be what we want them to be? To hope that they become what we need them to be so we can be happy and at peace? And we must ask ourselves what this emptiness is within our being that makes us so frightened, so uncomfortable, that we are compelled to fill it from another source—from other people or things that our mind believes will give us a semblance—an illusion—of who we are. Why can’t we have that curiosity, awe, wonder, joy of watching a tree sapling burst out of the ground, to rise slowly but surely—to feel and experience the wonderment of that growth and expansion—growing and growing and developing into what it truly is and not something that it is not.
Fear is what binds us to expectations. Fear is what keeps us in resistance to letting go, in resistance to trust. Trusting in ourselves and others that “All is well.”
[switching from We to You]
When you come from a place of enjoyment, a place of reverence, a place of curiosity, a place of observation, a place of discovery, you will become aware of the truth in those experiences. The more you step with these truths, the more in step you will become to know the truth that resides within you. What does truth sound like? What does truth look like? What does revering the truth feel like? Knowing these states of experience, states of being, will guide you to your state of truth: what is sounds like, what it looks like, and what is feels like to uncover your truth, having the powerful to blast off any falsities that is covering it, keeping its light dim and shallow. Uncovering your truth is becoming enlightened. You are literally stripping away falsity to allow the light of truth to expand from with; thus, expanding outside of you to touch and enlighten your brothers and sisters “in truth.” Thus, you are in a state of being from the enjoyment of being, of observing, of connecting to who and what is around you.
There is so much opportunity for you to discover what it is that you want to create from these states of being so the desire to let go of false attachments and expectations is flowing rather than barricaded in your heart. Because when you know thyself in truth, you will be repelled by the fiction of the world that you live in. You will be repelled by the distorted nature of reality espoused by so-called prophets whose desire it is to bring you into their reality thus discounting your own. You will be repelled by the false claims of false prophets, whether they are in lofty positions on high or sitting right next to you in ordinary circumstances.
Yet, my friends, the truth will not be handed to you on a silver platter because it is for you to claim as your own; a quest for you and no other. You must go within to discover your truth for yourselves. As you know (because in fact you already know) to do this you must find a tone, a whisper, a resonance, that you claim as the truth, a symbolic representation of you, of your Light, and attach your consciousness to it in order to understand the association between the truth and you. It must be a note of a song about you and only for you. It is like listening to the beat of a drum. What does the beat of the truth sound like, feel like, or even look like? Know this tone, find this whisper, this song dancing within you, and you will know the truth within you.
This journey will reveal many truths and false hopes, dreams, expectations, and any image that is, and is not, constructed from the truth that lives in you. Know thyself in truth and you will know your heart. You will know that no matter what you face or problem to be solved, your truth will set it and yourself free. That is freedom, that is expansion, and that develops love.
When you are looking outside of yourselves, wanting to make things into something that they are not, it is out of a place of deep sorrow and fear. And out of that fear is a need to control. And out of that need to control is wanting to hold on to what our mind is attached to having; thus, we are not allowing the truth and reality from within to expand and grow like the sapling so we can be the peace and happiness we want. A wise man or woman would stand and watch this unhappy dialogue in the mind, knowing herself so well that she would rather find joy in every single thing, person, and experience around her, rather than succumb to the urge to control her outside perspective and make it a part of her inward reality; a reality that is ultimately false and has the power to erode her sense of self and her life purpose. She understands the pain and sorrow that comes from life. She does not make anything around her, including her loved ones, into something they are not to make this pain and suffering go away. She finds the sacredness in life, she sees the sacredness in life, she knows the sacredness in life. And she knows that the well of peace and happiness is flowing from within her and can be given to herself, like a cool drink on a hot summer’s day, quenching her thirst and calming the mind and body. She knows herself and can be at peace. We ask you to do the same. Please.
The people who are around you are sacred beings with their own thoughts and beliefs, their own choices to be made, mistakes to be made, learning to be made. Learn about how you can be with those that you love from a place of loving, from a place of spiritual truth, and let go of the expectations you have of them so you can be with them. But more importantly, so you can be at peace with yourselves. How can you connect with those that you love, and do not love, without the desire to control who and what they are? The way to do that is to be with yourself. To know what “that is.” Your pathway, your guide, is to be still with the beating of your heart and the rhythmic tunes of your soul. Learn how to follow this musical orchestra. Learn to move to the beat and the song of the brilliant music being conducted within you. Know the pieces of your musical composition so it intrigues your mind and spirit so much that you are no longer concerned with the musical composition of another; releasing the compulsion to rewrite the musical composition of someone else’s music rather than embracing and dancing to your own.
Focusing on relationships and connecting is more vital than to “take” someone’s free will away. Because, in a sense, when you place expectations on your children, your family, your friends, you are taking their free will away. Now this is different from having expectations of what you want in life. You may expect to be around people who are kind and loving and who treat you well. We would call those high principles of living. Using your wisdom and discernment, you should choose to be around people who are loving and kind and respectful. But trying to turn someone into something they are not is always stepping away from yourself, and more importantly, from loving yourself. Trying to control someone based on fear, based on mistrust, is to take away their choice. And by doing so you do not see the beauty in them, the sacred relationship that you hold with them, and knowing when to let go of them if that is the healthy choice to make. Be still enough to develop you, to know you. That is your responsibility. And to know the difference between the song and dance of the heart and soul and the song and dance of “the other.” We trust that you will learn this important skill of discernment so you can allow the people, the saplings that are bursting forth from the ground, to grow as they must, becoming the unique expression of who and what they are. And giving them this gift, we ask that you give this gift to yourselves as well. The gift of love, respect, and acceptance. We love you.
© 2023 Kristen O'Meara
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